Apprehension After Heartbreak
How do you open up to someone again after getting hurt?
I'm in my early twenties. I was in a committed relationship with my boyfriend "Joe" for about two years. He was the first meaningful relationship I've had. Out of the blue, he dumped me for no reason. It was a very painful experience for me to get over him. Now I am having a hard time being open to new relationships because of what Joe did and I am worried I will be alone forever.
–Worried in Westport
Dear Worried in Westport,
It’s totally common for people to feel guarded after they’ve had their heart broken. The good news is that, as a result of your experience with Joe, you will be more cautious and practical when choosing partners in the future. Now that you know those amazing feelings of love can end (and hurt!) you will be wiser and have a better idea of what you need in a relationship. This is part of growing up, and it’s a good thing — I promise. Plus, if and when a future relationship falls apart, you won’t be quite as shocked and thrown off kilter as the first time.
That being said, love is a risk worth taking. Remind yourself that while putting up a wall might keep the hurt out, it will also keep out those emotions and experiences that make life worth living. So, proceed with caution but do not be afraid to let yourself open up to someone else again. Start slowly. Go on dates and talk to new people. In time, you will feel the rewards that come from sharing life with another person once again. Good luck!
Alexa Cortese is Associate Editor of Digital Media at Moffly Media.
She can be found in coffee shops or on Gchat dishing out relationship and life advice to all her friends. After one particularly long chat session, Alexa’s best friend said, “You should become an advice columnist.” So here she is…
A New Jersey native, Alexa now resides in Fairfield. She is in a happy, long-term relationship (it’s not complicated). Her specialty is relationship advice, but she’s willing to tackle anything. So bring it on!
*Disclaimer: Alexa Cortese is not a certified professional licensed therapist — just a girl with a dream to bring a little more love and peace into the world.
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