How to Deal With Unwanted Attention

She's getting hit on, and she doesn't like it.



©Garvin Burke

I am gay and in a relationship with another woman, but a guy I know constantly hits on me — even though he himself has a girlfriend. He makes inappropriate comments and jokes when his girlfriend is out of earshot, and I try to laugh it off or jokingly tell him to stop because I don’t want the situation to get awkward. I tell my girlfriend everything he says to me, and while she thinks he’s ridiculous, she is not threatened by it. I’m sure his girlfriend would be angry and hurt, but I do not feel close enough to her to begin stirring up trouble in their relationship by telling her what he says to me. My question is, how do I get him to stop making these comments without making things uncomfortable, and should I tell his girlfriend? I doubt I am the only one he makes these comments to.

-Sick of It in Stamford

 

Dear Sick of It in Stamford,

Talk about a tricky situation! Bottom line is that it does need to stop. This guy is being completely disrespectful to you, his girlfriend, and your girlfriend. If he can’t take the hint when you lightly or jokingly tell him it is inappropriate, then you have to flat out tell him that he is making you uncomfortable and that you don’t want him to make these comments anymore. If he doesn't quit it, you should stop hanging out with him. If the comments persist via text or otherwise, you might want to risk awkwardness and tell his girlfriend what he's been saying. You would be doing her a favor, and though she might be upset at first, she will realize that in the longrun that you were trying to help her out. These comments might seem harmless if he hasn't tried anything physical, but that doesn't mean they are okay. His girlfriend deserves to know that her boyfriend hits on other women, and you deserve to be treated with respect.


Alexa Cortese is Associate Editor of Digital Media at Moffly Media.

She can be found in coffee shops or on Gchat dishing out relationship and life advice to all her friends. After one particularly long chat session, Alexa’s best friend said, “You should become an advice columnist.” So here she is…

A New Jersey native, Alexa now resides in Fairfield. She is in a happy, long-term relationship (it’s not complicated). Her specialty is relationship advice, but she’s willing to tackle anything. So bring it on!

*Disclaimer: Alexa Cortese is not a certified professional licensed therapist — just a girl with a dream to bring a little more love and peace into the world.

Follow Ask Alexa on Twitter: @askalexact

If your status says "It's complicated" then let Alexa help solve your dilemma. Send your questions, issues, and/or complaints to Ask Alexa »

 

 

Stamford Agenda

  • New Fitness Class: SalsaTone

    2014.11.01

    Starting November 1st ~ Every Saturday morning 10 to 11 AM Instructor: Melissa Lopez Start your weekend off right with this exciting cardio...

  • Recovery Climb 2014

    2014.11.01

    Liberation Programs' Recovery Climb 2014 will take place on Saturday, November 1, 2014 at Chelsea Piers in Stamford. Liberation's...

  • Salsa Workshop for Advanced Beginnners

    2014.11.01

    Instructor: April Genovese Time: 2:30 - 4:30pm Price: $30 April will teach turn patterns and open shines every Advanced Beginner should...

  • Dream Ball Gala

    2014.11.01

      Cocktails, dinner, dancing, a silent auction and a Giving Tree will all be included during the 10th annual Dream Ball gala, to be...

  • Kids Fun Night | Movie Night in the Pool!

    2014.11.01

    Grades K – 5. Bring your friends to hang out and watch a movie in the coolest way possible; while floating in the pool! This Kids Fun Night...

  • French Market (Farmers’ Market) | Stamford, CT

    2014.06.07

    Visit our farmers’ market with vendors offering the freshest fruits, vegetables, flowers, baked goods and more! Straight from the farm...

  • French Market (Farmers’ Market)

    2014.06.14

    Visit our farmers’ market with vendors offering the freshest fruits, vegetables, flowers, baked goods and more! Straight from the farm and...

  • Parties at the JCC Center

    2014.09.02

    A place to celebrate birthdays and special occasions. Be a guest at your own party! The JCC offers a wonderful space for you and your guests to...

  • The Way We Worked

    2014.09.20

    September 20 through November 4, 9am – 5pm The Way We Worked is a fun and nostalgic look back at the history of working people in...

  • NFL Specials

    2014.09.17

    Are you ready to spend Football Sunday and Mondays with us at the Whale? Join us for $4 Bud Light Drafts, $8 Signature Bloody Mary’s and...

  • College Football Specials

    2014.09.17

    Calling all College Football fans! Watch your favorite college football team score a touchdown at Sign of the Whale. Drink specials include $4...

  • Stamford Museum & Nature Center Facility Use

    2014.09.01

    September 1 – December 31, After 5pm For a truly unique and memorable venue, host your event or meeting on the picturesque 118-acre...

  • Jewish Arts & Film Festival of Fairfield County

    2014.10.25

    Saturday, October 25 – Sunday, November 2 Mark your calendar for Saturday, October 25 through Sunday, November 2 for the 13th season of the...

  • Wheels in the Woods Fall Activity Trail

    2014.11.02

    Sundays, November 2 - 30, Noon - 4 pm Our popular self-guided activity trail returns with new activities. Identify fall birds, do a mini...

  • Restaurant: Family Night | Stamford, CT

    2014.06.05

    Every Sunday evening from 5:30PM - 8:30PM Bring the kids to enjoy our Magician, special kids menu, fun for the entire family!

  • Monday Morning Open House

    2014.06.02

    An advanced workspace, COMRADITY is a GOOGLE-style shared workspace with blistering fast Fiber Optic internet in furnished private and open...

  • JCC Sara Walker Nursery School Registration

    2014.08.11

    Registration for the 2014/15 school Our Nursery School programs are designed to help children learn in an interactive and playful way while...

  • FAll 2014 Semester beginning - Ballet School of Stamford

    2014.09.15

    Our Fall semester begins on September 15th in our beautiful studios at Old Town Hall in Stamford. We offer classes for children age 3 to 18. Our...

  • Vacation Day Programs at the J - Glow in the Dark Mini Golf at FunFuzion

    2014.11.04

    Grades K – 6. All vacation days include arts and crafts, nut-free/kosher snacks, free swim and various games and activities. Participants...

  • BU8: DJ Trivia | Stamford, CT

    2014.06.05

    Come test your Wit and skills with TRIVIA. The top 3 teams claim prizes. Great specials and a great time for those who...


Show More...

Most Popular Articles

  1. 10 Things To Do Before Summer Ends
    Finish up your summer bucket list!
  2. Stamford Magazine's 5th Anniversary Party
    Bank Street Events
  3. 5 Bars Off Bedford
    Your guide to hole-in-the-wall taverns and pubs scattered around Stamford
  4. 12 Great Date Nights
    Restaurants for a romantic night
  5. Summer House Project Kick-Off
    Lower Summer Street, Stamford